How to love myself without the influence of the external environment. 


The external environment is an extension of us however she is influencing everything in her as much as we are influencing her in return. Yes, because we are one. We are interconnected and we are merged with the external but we are not powerless to it. This is how to love myself becomes easy. It is the very art of dancing with the external reality at will. We live on a free will planet which means choices are always ours to make. If I choose to love myself without the influence of the external environment then I am also choosing to be the one that is influencing my external reality at will. This is when the game changes and I become who I was born to be. I was born to be a huge multi dimensional being that exists simultaneously on many levels and the way I embody this is through loving and accepting myself. 


I only perceive my outer environment as influencing me when I think of it as separate from me. However, more and more studies are showing that we are not separate, we are one. Matter is an extension of us, it has consciousness just like us and we are in a constant interconnection, inter-influence with what’s around us. Charles Eisenstein talks about matter being spiritual and I found resonance with what he is saying. Please watch the short video here. 


Our environment is completely a part of us however, many of us are still perceiving ourselves as being completely dependent on external influences and those ones deserve more love, not less. i recognise the one in me that feels separate and dependent on the external environment and since it is a red flag, my loving attention would go to that one. 


I have an affinity with living by the sea. I perceive the external environment, the seaside, as having a positive influence on me. A different part of me will come forward if i live in that environment. This new me would also be worthy of my love and recognition. You see, love never stops. It is unchanging and actually it is us who must always fine tune our antennas to catch the never changing waves of love. This is how we learn to love ourselves despite where we are and what’s around us. When time has passed by and self-love has become your foundation, and you will know that this is so, because everything will be much easier, then you will see even more clearly how it doesn’t matter the external reality. All that matters is loving what arises from within and how we respond. The response must always be with love, respect and acknowledgment. 


I am a dancer, dancing with my surroundings but the time has come to learn to dance with myself and with what arises within me despite my surroundings. This is a deepening of my spiritual path and love must lead the way. How? This is my choreography and rhythm and expression. The minute I wake up, get up and stand up, I am now penetrating the external reality with my flavour and with my being. What i eat, what i listen to, where I go, what i do, everything matters, everything is part of the dance. All my senses are engaged and dictating what feels light, expansive and good and what feels harsh, rough and not so good. My nervous system, an immaculate perfection of form, registering neurotransmitters and information all the time, telling the rest of my body what to do. My inner eco system is one thing to take care of, while my outer system is but a reflection of the light within me. Trying and changing, listening, questioning, exploring, and affirming. These are all vital steps in the choreography that I am creating everyday as I walk on this planet. Being aware of my core values is also very important if I am to learn how to love myself despite the outer reality. These are the very virtues that I would seek to embody and live by. For example, peace, world peace and undo harm to animals. These are valuables that help my decision making and I didn’t come to know this out of thin air. I came to know this by asking questions, listening for what’s coming from within and revisiting again and again. I’ve not been afraid to re-define my core values because i know i am different, changing all the time, yet, the unchanging within me, the love within me, stays the same.


Back to the dancing metaphor. When you work with people in a betting shop, you learn how to communicate with words which is actually a form of dance. It’s a verbal expression of dancing with people. Knowing what to say to them, how to make them laugh, or how to make a joke, it is all dance moves that we learn how to do. It’s the same when we turn the focus on loving our hearts. It starts with words. What will you say to your heart today? How will you make your heart laugh or smile? 


For all of us who are still working in the busy environment where we serve others, hear me when I say that it is very important to maintain a connection with your heart as well. Don’t get lost in other people but if you have gotten lost, love the one in you who feels lost and listen. The time to dance with our hearts has come now more than ever when this virus put us under quarantine. However, most of us don’t know how to love ourselves independently of the external environment. 


Learning how to love myself without the influence of the external environment means: 

  • Loving the one in me who perceive the influence of the external environment as a barrier to loving my heart
  • Asking questions that the universe sends my way and answering those questions so as to get to know myself better. 
  • Dancing with myself using words, affirmations, responses that matter to my heart. If I don’t know what they are, I will try with the questions: Heart, what would you like to hear me say? What feeling wishes to be shared? How can I serve you today? Heart, what makes you unhappy? What makes you happy? Heart, if no one else can hear you, what are you willing to tell me, right now? 
  • Pranayama, yoga and meditation brought into my life because they support my spine and my spine supports my whole body. They also support my nervous system and this influences my inner eco system too. 
  • Perceiving the external environment as an extension of me. Not something separate then me. Asking the universe to show me how I am interconnected with what’s around me. 
  • Slowing down. When I slow down, grace comes in, my body moves easily, my emotions bubble up easily, my heart opens up and I feel the love more easily. 
  • Focusing on loving myself every step of the way, one day at a time, even though the external environment influences my reality. It’s the change in focus from seeing how the external influences me to seeing how best to tend to my innocence today. 
  • Affirming: I am open to experiencing new things despite the influence of the external world.
  • Turning towards the external environment, situations, circumstances and stating: Okey you can influence me all you want but i am still going to exercise the divine will and choose to tune into the unchanging waves of love. You can look like a tsunami but I am still going to remain right here acknowledging, respecting and welcoming, I won’t try to run away from you, I will just put a hand on my heart and say I love you. 
  • Dancing the flamingo and not the tango. The flamingo is the kind of dance that steps and cuts and flows again at will. The tango is the kind of dance that you latch onto someone, you tag onto someone, and you just learn to move together without stepping on each other’s toes and in whatever choreography someone told you. 

I want to share this gorgeous Flamingo dancer and singers. It fills me up when I watch them because they step away from the unchanging grounds of being but very quickly they come back and stay. 

Thank you for reading this. If you are interested in working with me, I would love to speak with you so please check out my Coaching and Card Reading services and book yourself a convenient time slot for us to speak. 

I love you.