When life scares the living crap out of me, I cheat.

Fear comes to the forefront and says: “Life scared the living crap out of me and all you did was go hide in a dark place, you didn’t recognise how well I did, handling a scary situation, instead you went away and cheated on me.”


We cheat when there is a need unmet. Not meeting our needs causes us pain. Depending on how much we endure this pain from an unmet need, we result to all kinds of cheating behaviours.

Over-eating, working, striving, exercising, sometimes it’s sexual, sometimes it’s loneliness and isolation or denial but really underneath all this is pain and this pain is waiting for us to recognise it’s existence.

May be we don’t know how to meet our needs, so it is time to educate ourselves.

Where there is a will, there is a way.

For me personally, life scares the living daylight out of me when it goes too good to be true and when it goes too bad, not this time. Mhe eh…

Either way, it is my need to love unconditionally that I didn’t meet and because of that I suffered great pain and because of the pain I ended up cheating.

Not recognising the perfection of life, how it presents all the conditions in my environment, how it’s giving me everything I have ever asked for, gosh not recognising this creates nothing but shadow.

The shadow is a very powerful aspect of ourselves, it’s the ego, the mind, the whatever you wanna call it.

Let me throw some more words here: sadness, rage, anger, pain, inferiority, passive-aggressive tendencies, guilt, shame, torture, abuse, jealousy, insecurity, addictions, hatred, judgement, criticism, fear… all shadow, all super powerful.

Fear says: “When I show up, you respect me or else I turn the volume up.”

When life scares the living crap out of me next time, I respect that.

I think we all cheat one way or another on ourselves first and then on others. To turn this around we ought to become responsive to our needs and wants. Really, learn how to meet those needs and wants as well as how to respect the shadow aspect of ourselves along the way.

Next time I will talk about the shadow aspect a little bit more and the three MOST important steps we all need to know when dealing with life being unfair. “Life’s too perfect to be fair” so recognise, respect and re-integrate the shadows.

As always, I would love to hear from you.

Peace and out